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[s*8].mikenbrit
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 Posted: October 24th, 2014, 8:53 am |
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Joined: May 8th, 2014, 3:05 pm
Posts: 189
Location: Cape Coral FL
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Q: Why couldn't the pony sing?
A: Because he's a little hoarse.
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Funny-Horse-1-.jpg [ 41.75 KiB | Viewed 2196 times ]
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_________________
Perfection is unattainable, but if we strive for it we may catch excellence - Unknown
Remember winning isn't everything, but wanting to win is! - Lombardi
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[s*8].Munckey
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Posted: December 15th, 2014, 4:08 pm |
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Joined: May 3rd, 2014, 4:03 pm
Posts: 1532
Location: Denmark
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A chemistry lab is like a big party; some drop acid, others drop the base.
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Nilrem
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Posted: November 22nd, 2017, 12:19 pm |
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Joined: November 2nd, 2017, 8:41 pm
Posts: 1176
Location: Dallas, TX
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Not sure how or why that last post is in here. Has anyone found the punch line? I thought I had found it but that was the line for cake.
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That which doesn't kill you, disappoints me.
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Vagisil
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Posted: November 23rd, 2017, 3:54 pm |
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Joined: March 9th, 2014, 12:44 am
Posts: 1302
Location: Seattle
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The post was the punchline. Now that that's fixed...we should revive this thread.
Q: Which side of the turkey has more feathers?
A: The outside.
Q: Why did the turkey get arrested?
A: The police suspected him of fowl play.
Q: What sound does a turkey with a limp make?
A: Wobble, wobble.
Q: What did the turkey say before it went in the oven?
A: Man, I'm stuffed.
Q: Why were the cranberries red?
A: They saw the turkey dressing.
A man buys a parrot, only to have it constantly insult him. He tries everything to make the parrot stop, but nothing works. Frustrated, the man puts the parrot in the freezer. After a few minutes the insults stop. The man thinks he might have killed the parrot, so he opens the freezer and takes the parrot out. The parrot is shivering. It stammers, “S-s-sorry for being r-r-rude. Please f-f-forgive me.” Then, after a moment, the parrot softly asks, “W-w-what exactly d-d-did the turkey do?”
_________________
Vagisil. Use only as directed.
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Nilrem
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Posted: November 24th, 2017, 2:02 pm |
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Joined: November 2nd, 2017, 8:41 pm
Posts: 1176
Location: Dallas, TX
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Wife: I have a bag of clothes I want you take down to the shelter so they can be donated.
Husband: Why not just throw them away? It's much easier.
Wife: But there are starving people who could use these.
Husband: Anyone who can fit into your clothes is not starving.
_________________
That which doesn't kill you, disappoints me.
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[s*8].NobodyCan
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Posted: November 24th, 2017, 6:51 pm |
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Joined: March 17th, 2014, 2:11 pm
Posts: 819
Location: Utah
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The captain of a cruise ship has a parrot, and the parrot's favorite past time was to ruin the on-board magician's tricks.
The parrot would always shout out what the magician did. "It's in his sleeve!" "the table has a false bottom!", and so on.
At one point the magician got so fed up with this parrot that he pulled a gun and shot at it. He missed the bird, inadvertently shooting the fuel line instead, blowing up the entire ship.
The magician miraculously survived, holding onto a piece of the ship. The parrot flies down to him and says, "Alright, you got me. Where'd you hide the ship?"
_________________
"If I can't do it.." -NobodyCan
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